that "moment"

WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE and HOW is that moment when you look at someone and realize that you are in love and that they could be "the one?" this is one of those topics that is obviously very subjective - especially because it also involves a person's individual idea of what "love" really is.

for me, love is so many damn things - it's unconditional, there's sacrifice, the idea that someone else's happiness supercedes your own, the fact that there really isn't much that you won't do for them, and that you are able to accept and appreciate everything about them, good and bad, and most of all it's a commitment to offer these feelings indefinitely. to me, you never fall out of true love. just because people change or grow apart, doesn't change the feelings, not if it's real.

but to be "the one" - there are other necessities, for me at least. i realized that i have to be with someone that i can't live without. obviously, the fact that i'm single probably indicates that i have dated plenty of people that i'm fine living without. ok - so how does all this jive with the concept of the independent woman? it doesn't. i admit, i want to be able to depend on someone,emotionally. i want to know that i'm never in anything alone. i want to know that we are on this journey together - "you jump, i jump" - you know?

i need someone to bring out the best in me, and accept my wackiness. i also absolutely have to respect them. i need someone to be my moral compass, so to speak - someone who kind of guides me in the right direction, when necessary. AND a great sense of humor is a must, if we can't laugh at each other and with each other - there's no chance of longevity.

i guess sometimes that moment happens before you have even really developed a relationship. whenever you meet someone new, there's usually an initial "sorting," right? usually, the first filter is physical. are they appealing to you? is there a spark? then, you get to know each other. some people have it sorted as "potential" or "no potential." others, like myself, sort by "romantic" or "friend." because of this mindset, i develop relationships with all kinds of people, because i find so many things attractive in people - energy, spirit, a smile, a philosophy, etc. i never think that every man i meet either has to be the love of my life or nothing. maybe that's how come i have so many guy friends too. but i have to admit, i usually know whether there's a spark, and i have yet to be proven wrong.

so when is that moment when people decide that you want to explore the possibility of a romantic relationship? what tips the scale? is it a moment? or is it something that develops slowly? what about love at first site? and who can tell me about this elusive concept about "the one" - because im totally clueless on this one.

Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart. - Martin Luther King, Jr.